Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
