Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
