Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
