At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
