Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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