actually, I'm a sock model
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize