Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
