It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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