What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize