My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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