Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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