I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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