The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
