i just google imaged poop.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
