I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
