Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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