I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
