He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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