I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Randomize
