ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize