i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
