Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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