Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
