You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
