I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
