I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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