no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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