Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
