I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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