Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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