I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
