I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
