ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
