I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
