Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
