so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
