I wanna bring you to show and tell
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
