There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
