I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize