definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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