That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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