white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
