come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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