It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
