its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
His hands were made for my vagina.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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