I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize