a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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