I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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