Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
