Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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