it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
