She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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