Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
