If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
