he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
