I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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