he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
