I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
