so that wasnt chicken after all
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
