My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize