We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
