I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
