Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've blown a few things in my day
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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