yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
