4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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