Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
